★★★★☆
"The Clawed Clog Queen was in-n-out in record time!! It was a bit weird that she was naked the entire time, and then screamed at me when I went to pay. But overall a pleasant transaction and i didn't feel ripped off. Would call again"
★★★★★
"My wife left me when I brought the Clawed Clog Queen... who btw expertly turned our toilet into basically a human litterbox. My toilet is still extremely clogged but my home is much quieter without the ol' lady. This has been the single best improvement to my life in decades!!! Thanks CCQ!!!"
★★★★★
"My aunt recommedended this plumber to me, so i was hesitant because aunt Margie has made a lot of questionable life choices... My doubts were confirmed when they showed up in NOT a plumbers van, but what i can only describe as some sort of gigantic military vehicle, and NOT with any equipment I've ever seen a plumber use.. I should not have paid the bill when the Claw Queen or whatever her name is left without checking my toilet first. IT WAS FULL OF CAT LITTER, I flushed it, and only more cat litter poured down into the bowl. This was slightly horrific to deal with for a while, but I guess this is my life now. Thanks Queen!"
★★☆☆☆
"UM okay for starters? Upon arrival to my property, the plumber busted my door down without knocking— and when i demanded she fix it, she stated that she wasn't a door repairmen and began hissing and screaming until i left the room. Minutes later, i heard loud booms coming from my bathroom. I ran in and there was just a crater where my toilet used to be, with smoke rising and the smell of spent explosives. She was nowhere to be seen, and isn't responding to any calls or emails. I mean technically my toilet is no longer clogged, so two stars."
- RESPONSE FROM OWNER: "Wahhh wahhh wahhh, grow up you fricken baby, what kind of clown orders a service, receives said service, then cries about it??! Btw your kids all hate you"
★★★★★
"The plumber did in fact show a lot more than the usual crack, as stated on the website. To be honest, this was the real reason I went with their services. Some of us have to pay extra for that normally, so this was a steal of a deal!! I've actually began clogging my toilet again on purpose so I'll be calling them again very soon!!"
★★★★★
"I clicked an ad on Facebook, and next thing i know there was a literal war tank parked on my lawn, crushing the cross where my precious dog Edison was buried. The plumber came out, slapped me in the face with full claws, and when i came to, she was gone, along with the tank, Edison's cross, AND MY TOILET CLOG. There's some sort of gray powdery mixture in my "porcelain throne" (hehe) but i assume that's just bowl cleaner or something. I'm sure it'll go away any day now."
★☆☆☆☆
"DO NOT RECOMMEND. Dangerous company ran by a psychopath. I'm telephoning the police right after typing this review. My lawyer says to not go into more detail at this time, but let me just say- if you want your life ruined call the C.C.Q."
- RESPONSE FROM OWNER: "maybe your lawyer or the pigs can come fix your toilet then? Clown"
★★★★★
"Let me preface this review by saying that i have never actually dealt with this business, i just like to see a young lady chasing her dreams. You go, little cat-plumber!!
#capitalism #freedom #murica #girlpower
★★★★★
"This plumber goes by Clawed Clog Queen, and lemme tell you she is definitely all of those things. Feisty as hell, and not afraid to use them claws!!!! I got cut up pretty good, but I got a great deal. What more can you ask 4??
★☆☆☆☆
"My toilet is even more broke now, you dumb little cat. I want my money back."
- RESPONSE FROM OWNER: "how is that my problem? Cry to someone who cares, kthxbyyyee"
★★★★★
"The Queen killed my pet gerbil and played with it's entrails for around 45 mins...(wtf?) but then only charged me 200% of the price we agreed on over the phone. Amazing!! Would highly recommend to anyone. Don't be ripped off by the other plumbers!! Call the QUEEN!! We love you QUEEN!!"
★★☆☆☆
"My wife believes that the repaircat sent to our premises was STONED on CATNIP. Not sure she should be driving that large plumbing machine with the cannon on front. We immediately called police but they just laughed at us and hung up. The end is nigh, folks!!! Also our toilet is still broke"
- RESPONSE FROM OWNER: "thuuug liiiife!"
★★★★★
"Our son's toilet was repaired by Toilet Patrol two weeks ago, and it was immediately clogged up again. We no longer trust T.P. in this house, so we decided to give this Claw company a try without knowing too much about em. Our son was kidnapped by the Claw and held for ransom. We refused to pay, of course (this is Amerika, we don't negotiate with terrorists). Then 6 days later they returned our son for free!!! He has been walking around mumbling some nonsense about how he was tortured endlessly, but you know how kids can be so dramatic. Anyway, he hasn't said anything about his toilet so we assume it's fixed. Thanks Claw!!"
★★☆☆☆
"Toilet fixed in record time. I paid and tipped well. Great. I head to bed a few hours later, and find a CAT TURD on my pillow. Wtf?"
- RESPONSE FROM OWNER: "You know exactly what that was for. Eat it."
